


Want Me That Way

by Obsessivecompulsivereadr



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, slightly Klaine unfriendly -- not significant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessivecompulsivereadr/pseuds/Obsessivecompulsivereadr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Because most of the time, people don’t want me that way"</p><p>Kurt's insecurities pop up again during an afternoon with Adam, but Adam is determined to prove Kurt that he's wrong about how much he's wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Want Me That Way

**Author's Note:**

> I tried very hard to make this not too Blaine/Klaine unfriendly, but it's difficult with all the issues that Kurt currently has that can be traced to Blaine in some way or another. I think I was partially successful because it isn't nearly as Blaine unfriendly as I'm capable of being lol. 
> 
> For my dear friend "Clovrboy" on tumblr.

Kurt didn’t do casual dating.

It’s not that he didn’t want to, because he did.  He very much did.

It also wasn't that he didn’t have time for it.  Because he did.

It was mainly because he knew what he _didn’t_ want from dating. 

He did not want a relationship like the one he’d been in during high school.  He didn’t want one that focused so much on having a boyfriend and keeping him, and one not so much on being able to be himself.   Not one so focused on keeping someone else happy.

He wanted to focus on his NYADA classes, and he loved hanging out with the Apples in his free time, which he had a lot of since Rachel and Brody seemed joined at the hip lately. 

No, it wasn’t that he didn’t do casual dating. 

It was that he really didn’t understand _how_ to do casual dating.  

He and Adam were taking things slowly, but Kurt didn’t do slowly. 

When he fell, he fell hard.  And quickly. 

It had been that way with Finn.  And with Blaine. 

Kurt had tried to explain his problematic history to Adam, but he wasn’t sure Adam really understood it yet.  Kurt had tried to tell him that he fell hard for people who were nice to him, and that it had, at times, been something that didn’t work out for him.  Or that completely backfired on him.

Adam knew that Kurt had issues with self-esteem, but for some reason, Adam seemed to _want_ Kurt. 

That was the part that Kurt couldn’t process. 

Adam seemed really _interested,_ and it just didn’t register with Kurt. 

Adam didn’t seem to find Kurt sexually boring.  If anything, the looks that Adam gave him made it very clear that he was very interested in getting to know that particular side of Kurt. 

And the more that Adam flirted, the harder Kurt was falling for him. 

It scared the shit out of him. 

Kurt took a calming breath and leaned against the wall just so he could watch Adam.    

There he sat, on Kurt’s couch, looking gorgeous and happy.  Smiling as he watched the video on Kurt’s laptop, where it perched on his lap. 

After much arguing, Adam had convinced Kurt to share his old high school performance videos. 

Even Single Ladies.

And Four Minutes, which Coach Sue had recorded and had given a copy of to both Mercedes and Kurt. 

Adam had argued that nothing would keep him from asking to see them the moment that Kurt had mentioned doing Single Ladies with Tina and Brittany in sophomore year. 

That argument had come complete with “ _Come on now.   The Apples serenaded you with Baby Got Back.  I mean how much more embarrassing a display could you possibly have in your repertoire?_ ”  

Kurt had had to giggle at that reasoning even while he’d pointed out that he happened to have loved watching them sing that song.

And now here they were, Rachel out with Brody for the day, and Adam devouring every video that Kurt had stored on his laptop. 

With Kurt standing by and slowly dying of embarrassment. 

And confusion. 

Because while he’d gotten some closure with Blaine after Mr. Schue and the now Mrs. Schue’s wedding a month ago, he still wasn’t quite sure where he stood with Adam. 

They’d gone out for coffee once before Kurt had made his visit back to Ohio for the wedding. 

It had been fun, and relaxing, and Adam had been just as charming as he’d been in Kurt’s first few weeks at NYADA.  It had been pretty much the most perfect date ever. 

But Kurt had gotten scared, and he’d backed off a little bit. 

He hadn’t _meant_ to back off, but he’d been terrified of the feelings that he was having for Adam.  Terrified that he’d get in over his head, again.  And terrified that in the long run, he’d find out that Adam only wanted his voice in the group, and not Kurt himself.  That he’d end up being disappointed again.

After a failed reunion with Blaine at the wedding, where Kurt had almost made the biggest mistake of his life, his eyes had been opened. 

Especially when Blaine had reacted badly.  Again. 

That fight had cemented the break up for good. 

Kurt had come back to New York with new intentions, and one of those was to see how he really felt about Adam.  And how Adam felt about him. 

He’d even confessed to the incident with Blaine at the wedding, fully expecting Adam to react badly.

But he hadn’t. 

Adam had only tilted his head and smiled. 

Then he had taken Kurt’s hand and said, “ _Look.  You don’t owe me an explanation for any of that.  We had one date before your trip.  We weren’t a couple, so you were free to do anything you wanted to do.  Why did you think I’d be mad about that?_ ”

Kurt had wanted to tell him why he’d assumed Adam would have been angry but it would have meant bringing up Blaine again.  And the cheating accusations.

But he’d left it alone because he was tired of Blaine always being a factor in what he said or did.  He was tired of always feeling inferior and knowing that the reason he felt that way was, in part, because of having had Blaine in his life.  In part, because of Blaine being Blaine. 

Adam _never_ made him feel inferior.   Not with words or his actions.

Kurt smiled and bit back a giggle as Adam smiled his way through the Born This Way performance. 

But he must have made a noise because Adam turned to him and considered him quietly. 

 _That_ was another thing. 

Kurt couldn’t get used to the way Adam looked at him sometimes.  At times it was much more pensive than the expression he wore when he was flirting with Kurt.

It was also different than the way anybody had looked at him in the past.  It was like Adam could see things that were inside Kurt’s head, things that Kurt didn’t want to think about himself. 

Things Kurt wanted to hide.

If he had to put a name to it, he’d probably go the old cliché route of saying that Adam looked at him like he could see inside his soul.  And that was both attractive and absolutely terrifying.

Adam put the laptop on the table in front of him and gestured him over with the crook of his finger. 

Kurt walked over slowly and stood in front of him, “Did you like them?”

“They were fabulous, as I knew they’d be.  May I ask if you happen to still have that leotard from Single Ladies?” Adam bit his lip and Kurt blushed. 

“Actually, yes,” Kurt smiled down at him.  “But it doesn’t fit anymore.”

“Come here,” Adam smirked as he tugged Kurt down into his lap.  “What’s wrong?  I can tell something is wrong because you were biting your lip.  And as sexy as that is, it means you’re nervous.  So confess.”

Kurt settled down onto Adam’s lap.  “It’s just me being me again.  Nothing new.”

Adam looked at him quietly. 

Then he stretched out his legs and arranged the two of them so that they were lying on the couch, Kurt partially draped over him and their legs intertwined.  Kurt slid a hand across Adam’s stomach and let it come to rest over his side, his fingers stroking the fabric underneath them. 

“Okay, that’s much better,” Adam said from above him.  “Now _what?_ ”

Kurt cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “You scare me.”

“What?” Adam’s voice was full of alarm.

“Not that way,” Kurt said softly.  “I don’t mean it the way you think I do.”

“ _You_ scared _me_ ,” the alarm in Adam’s voice turned to relief immediately.  “So what _do_ you mean?”

“Maybe scared was the wrong word.  You _confuse_ me.”

“How do I confuse you?” Adam asked softly. 

“It’s not in a mixed signal kind of way.  It’s actually the opposite.  You’re very clear about everything.  But it’s what you’re clear about that I’m having trouble with.”

Adam chuckled, “Okay.  One day…. one day we’ll get to the core of this problem.”

“Shut up,” Kurt laughed and smacked him on the side. 

“I’m just saying that I can’t help if you don’t tell me,” Adam said with a squeeze of encouragement. 

“Okay.  Here’s the thing.  When you tell me things like you said just a few minutes ago, I still have trouble believing them.”

“Like I said a few minutes ago?” Adam queried. 

“When you said that my lip-biting is sexy.”

“Oh.”

“You see, it never feels like the truth if someone does tell me things like that, and when I start to believe that you do mean it, that you really feel that way or think that way, there’s a voice in my head that tells me I’m being stupid.  That you could never want me that way.  Because most of the time, people _don’t_ want me that way.”

“ _Kurt._ ”

Kurt smiled against Adam’s chest.

It was a little disturbing to know that the way Adam pronounced his name was sexy because of his accent even while it was being used as a slight admonishment for not having confidence in himself.

“They don’t,” Kurt repeated. 

“I do.”

“But why?”

That was the ultimate question Kurt had.  He’d tried to talk to Rachel about it, but she’d brushed it off with an exclamation that Kurt was a “catch” and then moved on to encouraging Kurt to ask Adam out. 

“Kurt,” Adam began. 

“Wait,” Kurt stopped him.  “Don’t chastise me yet.  I just really need to know this.  Because I’ve spent a very long time convinced that there’s nothing even remotely sexy about me.   I have issues, okay?  I know I do.  It’s not just my ex.  It about the guys that came before him too.  It’s about being compared to other people and being found lacking in…. something.  Anything.  _Everything_.  After so long, it started to be all I could focus on, you know?”

Adam took a deep breath, and the movement felt almost like a meditation for Kurt.  He closed his eyes again and just waited. 

“Will you look at me?” Adam whispered. 

Kurt tilted his head back and looked up at him.  “Okay.”

“I told you that your song was breathtaking, but it was more than that,” Adam fidgeted and pulled Kurt up the length of the couch slightly, so that they were closer to being face to face.

When Kurt tried to not meet his gaze, Adam pulled his face back so that he was forced to look at him. 

“You were beautiful.  You _are_ beautiful.  It wasn’t just how you look or how you were dressed.  It was about the passion inside you.  It was about whatever you’d found inside yourself to channel at that moment.  Breathtaking isn’t even a strong enough word for me to describe it.”

“Adam,” Kurt slipped a hand up to wipe a tear from his cheek. 

“Let me finish.  Your passion is sexy.  Your voice is sexy.  There are so many small things that you do that just drive me crazy, and those aren’t even things I noticed that night.  I told you the day we first talked that the Apples wanted you, and that’s true.  But I wanted you too.  And I can’t stand the thought of you doubting how I feel about you.”

Kurt closed his eyes and pressed his face against Adam’s neck, and he just let the tears fall. 

“Shh. It’s okay,” Adam wrapped his arms around Kurt and rubbed one hand up and down his back soothingly.  “I do get it, you know.  And I’m not going to fix it _for_ you.  I’m going to help you fix it for yourself.  And then when you’re ready, I hope you’ll let me show you how much I want you.”

Kurt pressed closer to him, the tears slowing and his sobs quieting to soft hiccups, “I want that.  I want you, too.”

“I’m going to show you exactly how I feel about you, and what I think of your body.  Your mind.  Your everything.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but if I have to worship your body to convince you, I _will_ do it.”

Adam’s voice had reduced to a slight growl, and Kurt giggled. 

“That sounds kind of fun actually.”

“ _Just_ fun?” Adam snorted.  “Are you doubting my sexual prowess?”

“Oh, god no,” Kurt smirked.  “I wouldn’t dare to do that.”

“You’d better not,” Adam laughed softly. 

Kurt pulled him into a kiss, their lips brushing together tenderly, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Now how about we kiss for the rest of the afternoon before She-Who-I’m-Scared-To-Name and The Shirtless Wonder return?”

Kurt, hand still cupping Adam’s cheek, burst into laughter, “She’s not that bad.”

“Says you,” Adam grinned. 

“You could walk around here shirtless if you wanted to,” Kurt snuggled against Adam’s shoulder again.

“So could you.”

“I’ll think about it.  But I think I’d rather walk around shirtless in your apartment.”

“Now that is an excellent idea.  But how about we get back to that kissing now?”

Kurt wrapped his arm around Adam’s neck and pulled him down, “You are so smart.”

Adam grinned at him before lowering his mouth to whisper against Kurt’s mouth. 

“And _you’re_ amazing.”

 


End file.
